


i wish i never found you | a haikyuu angst oneshot

by fistfighters



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, do i regret it? also yes., does this hurt to write? yes., implied tanaka x nishinoya, kind of a request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28654242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fistfighters/pseuds/fistfighters
Summary: nishinoya and asahi. the unstoppable couple. they seem perfect for one another, but when past secrets surface, how will things turn out?-"i really did love you a lot, man." tanaka says, shifting his feet uncomfortably. "past all of the bro stuff. i.. always wanted you to be mine, i suppose.""tanaka-.. i.. you know i felt the same, right?"
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Nishinoya Yuu/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Kudos: 9





	i wish i never found you | a haikyuu angst oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello! this idea was suggested by .rattyboi on quotev! i have a feeling im going to love writing this, even if it's gonna hurt dskjfkldsjf  
> i love my boys so much and tanaka being sad makes me sad :((  
> anyway hope you enjoy!

nishinoya and asahi had been dating for around six months now. and they were both really happy. apparently some people had never seen noya happier than when he's with asahi, and vice versa. they bought out the best in each other, and that was obvious. the only person who was, well.. against it, was none other than tanaka. sure, he was happy for his bro and all, but it was something deeper than that - a more emotional level. sure, tanaka doesn't wallow in self pity, crying about how both his crushes have never liked him back (that being kiyoko and noya, obviously). but he feels.. jealous. every time he sees noya and asahi with one another, whether it be them holding hands on the way home, or asahi giving noya a piggyback around the school when he's too lazy to walk around, tanaka can't help but clench his fists, the jealously bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. because noya should be his. it should be them doing those things together. sometimes tanaka even imagines it when he can't sleep. he'll lie there and think about himself in asahi's position. and, for a moment, he feels happy! like it's something that's really happening, but then he realizes it'll never happen, and that he just really needs to move on. he isn't completely selfish, and he knows noya is really happy, and is still a good enough friend to invite tanaka on days out, like to the movies and things like that, even if it's supposed to just be a date, he'll let tanaka tag along. and he really appreciates it, because he knows that just because noya has a boyfriend, he's not going to get kicked to the curb.

~

"hey, tanaka!" the brunette called, jumping out of asahi's lap to go and talk to his best friend who'd just gotten into the club room. "what's going on, man?" he'd asked with a huge grin, tugging tanaka over to sit down before he even got a chance to respond. tanaka had merely just given a chuckle, saying he was fine. because, he pretty much was. he was in a relatively good mood right now. the taller male had laughed, shaking his head at his friend's enthusiasm. nishinoya was clearly in a good mood, and it made tanaka smile. it really made him happy to know that his best friend wasn't upset about anything. asahi treated him right, and that was something that tanaka was grateful for.

"so, do you wanna come over after school?" nishinoya had asked, but tanaka hadn't responded since he was sure noya was talking to asahi. "hey, earth to tanaka." he added, waving a hand in front of his friend's face as a way to get his attention. 

"huh? oh, yeah. sure." tanaka said, giving a smile. nishi was really inviting him over? it led tanaka to believe asahi would be there too, but still. at least he was getting involved.

~

to tanaka's surprise, it was just him and noya, because apparently asahi had homework. and it was common knowledge that nishi and tanaka both left homework till the morning it was due in. all had been normal for a little while, just playing video games, talking about kiyoko. basic things like that. noya still never shut up about kiyoko - maily because he had respect for her. he's not just simping anymore, his argument being 'he's older and has a boyfriend now.' and that he's 'practically married'. their normal-ness was soon cut short, by nishi asking one specific question.

"have you ever been in love before, tanka?" he'd said, turning his head to face the taller male next to him. tanaka had seemed to get almost defensive about it, saying "yeah! course! i mean, wouldn't you date kiyoko too? man, she's amazing!" 

kiyoko was always his go-to response in situations like this, but noya was always able to read tanaka like a book, so the brunette cocked a brow, leaning his arms on his knees. "huh? man, don't lie. you're not in love with her, you just think she's hot. cmon, just tell me. i don't care. just because i have a boyfriend doesn't mean i can't talk about this with you."

"yeah? you having a boyfriend is the problem, nishi-." those words had came out of tanaka's mouth completely on impulse, and he didn't even realize he'd said it until nishinoya gave a bewildered expression, asking tanaka what that was supposed to mean. damn, tanaka really dug himself a grave there, huh? "forget it. forget i said anything," but nishinoya wouldn't forget, he kept prying till tanaka gave in.

he knew he couldn't keep his feelings secret forever, and that he'd have to say something eventually - so, as much as he'd told himself he wouldn't, he finally gave in and said something about those feelings that have been eating him alive for the last two years.

"i really did love you a lot, man." tanaka says, shifting his feet uncomfortably. "past all of the bro stuff. i.. always wanted you to be mine, i suppose." he'd said, watching as nishinoya's smile faltered. there was only one emotion that tanaka could work out in noya's eyes. disgust. when, in reality, it was more guilt that anything else, but of course, tanaka wasn't thinking properly after that. just as he was getting up to leave, nishinoya had interjected, pulling tanaka to sit back down.

"tanaka-.. i.. you know i felt the same, right?"

it was true, before he'd realized his feelings for asahi, he'd been head over heels for tanaka. he thought, for a while, it was just them being best friends. but then he started to wonder why he'd get butterflies every time tanaka was around. but, nishi thought it was hopeless, that he'd never get together with tanaka, since he was sure his best friend was straight. nishi, personally, is bi, but he wasn't even out of the closet till he and asahi started dating. 

"you did? nishi, come on.. don't fuck around. it's not funny."

"what the hell?! you think i'd joke about that? man, tanaka. you realize how awful it was? having to go around every day like i was fine! like _we_ were fine? right since i met you, i was like.. 'yeah. this dude is perfect for me.' don't give me that 'don't fuck around' bullshit, tanaka!" nishi wasn't mad, he was more upset that tanaka thought he'd joke around about that. after speaking, he'd gave a sigh, shaking his head. "sorry for shouting." he'd leaned against tanaka's shoulder, knees up to his chest. the two rarely shared serious moments like this, but this wasn't something they could laugh off.

"be with me, instead." tanaka whispered, causing nishinoya to look up at him with a confused expression. "i know it sounds selfish, nishi. but i could.. you know i could treat you so much better than asahi can."

"tanaka. go home." was all nishi said, pausing for only about five seconds, but it felt like five years. "just.. go home. i'll talk to you in the morning."

tanaka sighed, hands in his pockets as he stood up. he knew he'd fucked everything up, and he was starting to feel like maybe he deserved it. because, nishinoya really was happy with asahi, anyone could see it. and, despite tanaka and noya's love for one another, it could never amount to the bond shared between the smaller boy and asahi. no matter how much either of them wanted it.

**Author's Note:**

> aa omg hello! so that was definitely something else. i never write angst, so im sorry if it was an awful first attempt lmao, but im hoping to get better! right now im working on bokukuro, so be sure to look out for that!  
> okay byee!   
>  \- jayden


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